This post is written for those who are not in your immediate situation, for those trying to lend a helping hand, but truly don’t know completely what you are going through.
What to say??
It’s a question with which we’ve all struggled. I want to be a help; I want to encourage my friend or loved one, but what exactly do I say to them when the situation is horrible?
In this case, I’m thinking of the person caring for someone who is terminal.
One word of wisdom – if the terminal person is doing poorly, it’s probably best to refrain from asking “How’s so-and-so doing?”
It would be better to focus on how the caregiver is doing. Ask a questions such as:
How are YOU?
What can I do to help you? (pick up groceries?, bring a meal?, etc.)
Many times, just sitting there with them – letting them share their heart, cry all over you, etc. is the absolute best therapy they need. Be there for them.
I’ve had sweet, amazing people say to me –
Call me anytime. “If you need to talk, CALL me.”
They knew! What a comfort to know that SOMEONE was there.
That was one of the most treasured things that I had – just knowing that they were there and that someone was available at any point when needed.
Another individual used to come to me and say “What’s going on?” and truly wanted to know what was happening. They were not afraid of the “rough and tough” aspects of life. I so appreciated that! They cared and gave their time for me.
